Beginning

Sitting.  Spine straighter.  Set it up.

Long neck.  Shoulders and face relaxed.

Deep breath in.

Breathe out, and focus in.

 

I don’t know what will come from this, but I do it anyway.  Do what is necessary. Create conditions and practice performance.

 

There is no certainty, and I would be lying if I told you the initial intention wasn’t outcome focussed,  I simply thought it would help.  I thought it would help in the search.  I thought it would help the understanding, perhaps answer some questions, maybe even provide some peace, but there is no certainty.

 

At the very beginning, it’s easy and impossible.  It makes total sense, helps immensely, and yet it doesn’t do a thing.  Every moment is a step.  There’s progress, and once I reach the so-called “after,” there’s clear progress, a sense of accomplishment, a sense of peace.

 

 

The outcome is necessary in my mind, as, without it, the end is near. Yet somehow without reaching the desired effect, I make it to the next, and within that trial, a door opens, a new potential, a future, a present, a gift.

 

Within the the trial, the event pauses and becomes a moment.  Then somewhere between short and long my mind presses play.  The moment becomes an event, and then a trial.  Back and forth, it’s a game.  It’s a game where I’m the only player and still, I have no certainty.

 

Even without certainty, every moment I have a beginning, and that’s where I start. That’s why I start.  The potential from beginning.  The moment before future.  The opportunity for understanding.

 

This is meditation, a daily practice, a return to the beginning, the place of potential.

 

This is racing, a daily practice, a return to the beginning, the place of potential.

 

 

Rest well.